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In a vision I experience a scene that I hope and pray I never have to repeat and ever see again. I see the most severe price ever that a soul has to pay for an irreparable mistake. In the grey, dirty twilight, there where suiciders dwell around without direction or reason, aimlessly. There they have to, because of the self-destruction of their precious life, repeat the cause and act of their suicide, in a never-ending state, for eternity.

Look, everything but everything in this indescribable hell feels eternally fatal to the suicide. In the middle of Hades, in a dark, infinite, self-destructive hall. In the middle thereof is a gruesome suicide pole, mounted on a horrible gallows. Displayed on this pole, there hang countless suicide souls, that also have to repeat their suicide act here, terrifyingly.

In a place next to this, I hear one after the other gunshot that tears through heart and brain. While these souls pray without stopping, that this condition must dissapear. But this too is just repeated over and over again.

I also see those that fall to their death in repetition while screaming. I also see the suicide-poison-cup, where the maggots mill incessantly through the intestines of the suiciders. I see cut wrists, where these self-destroyers, sitting in blood reaching to their necks, have to pay for the misdemeanor against themselves.

In the suicide hell the guilty are standing cold, hungry and naked. Worst of all, in their Godforsaken state there is no hope that an angel would come and take them to heaven some or other time.

Through gnashing and weeping I hear voices sadly speaking. They call and say: Deserted by God, we long to experience the precious life, in whatever state, just for a moment again. Yes, that which was once too much for us, we will now go and get with love and determination.

While my eyes wander for the last time over this terrible scene. I ask myself, how is it possible that any living consciousness could fail himself / herself so bitterly? Then I ask the Spirit to take me out of this vision. There is no words that can verbally describe this terrible state.